Joke 1
A policeman pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway, glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the lady who was driving was knitting.
Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and the siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, "Pull over!"
"No", the lady yelled back, "It's a scarf!"
Joke 2:
I was recently riding with a friend of mine.
We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" He tells me this is how his brother drives.
We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" Again, he tells me this is how his brother drives.
We come to a green light, and he SLAMS on the brakes. My heart nearly goes into my throat. I shouted at him, "Why do you do that?!"
He replied, "You never know, my brother could be coming the other way."
Joke 3
A blonde takes her broken car to be repaired at her local garage, fearing a large bill.
But luckly within two minutes the mechanic has it up and running normally "It was nothin serious love, just crap in the air filter"
She Replies "Brilliant, thank you. How often do i have to do that then?"
Joke 4
A man is enjoying a drive along an amazing, bendy, country road when a woman dressed in tweed driving an old muddy 4x4 comes hurtling round a corner.
He moves over to avoid her, but as she passes she leans out the window and screams "PIG!"
Astonished, the man turns and yells abuse back at her
As he rounds the bend he crashes into a pig.
And finally...Joke 5
Policeman: I stopped you because you were doing over fifty miles an hour.
Motorist: That's impossible, I've been driving for less than an hour.
We apologise for these jokes and pray that Comic Relief will be much better!
Author: Carmony.co.uk
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